Back to (Baby) Basics

It’s been four months since we welcomed our Baby J.  Those four months seemed to have flown by before my eyes!  A decade has passed since N and I experienced baby parenting so everything feels very new again.  There are even times when I feel like a first time mom as I grapple with things I’m supposed to do.

Truth be told, this has been the most exhausting time for me as a mom.  For one, this is the only time I’ve given exclusive breastfeeding a fair chance.  I also breastfed and when they were babies, but in hindsight, I think I gave up too easily and mixed-fed too early.  With J, I told myself that I will try as much as I can to feed him with breastmilk only.

It wasn’t a walk in the park, I can tell you.  First of all, the milk didn’t come instantaneously.  I think it was on the 3rd (or maybe 4th?) day when the milk flowed.  The lactation nurses in the hospital would visit and encourage me to still nurse often and be patient.  Sadly, the lack of milk in the first few left me and Baby  J frustrated.  He would cry and I would cry with him.  I would feel upset not being able to nourish him 😢.  Patience, they said, patience.  True enough, the milk did come!  But by this time, I’ve already got sore and cracked nipples.  Every feeding time was an ordeal!  I truly wanted to give up already because it was very painful.  But I endured…one feeding at a time.  And then slowly, it became more tolerable until one day, the pain was gone and we were  happily breastfeeding from then on.

It is still not easy.  It requires a little bit more from me —like watching what I eat to make sure I don’t consume allergenic foods like shrimp paste or eggs; or withholding my glass of wine for a little bit longer just to be sure ☺.  Then, there is also the round-the-clock feeding or pumping to make sure that the milk supply remains adequate.  Sleep has been (and still is) a luxury that I terribly miss.

True, exclusive breastfeeding is demanding and draining that it sometimes it leaves me feeling exhausted.  Despite this, I choose to do this until J is at least 6 months old.  Difficult as it may be, I cannot express the fulfillment that it gives me.  It may be one of the most rewarding feeling I’ve experienced as a mom.

 Baby J and I have been inseparable during his first weeks of life.  We didn’t have a yaya until he was about 2 months old already so it was mostly him and me for most times.  A baby can be a handful but thankfully, J was not very hard to take care of.  He is generally a happy baby and easy to deal with.  It also pays that N is very hands-on as a dad and the two older kids love taking care of the little one too.

Of course, there were times when I wanted to take a break and go out of the house.  But as soon as I get the chance to do so, I would be raring to go back home to J.  Talk about mommy separation anxiety! Haha 😯  I think it hit me the hardest a few days before my first day back at work.  Just the thought of leaving J made me sad and weepy! How I feel for all working mommas who had to go through the first day back at work after a maternity leave!

I’ve been back at work for over a month now but there are days when I still struggle with separation anxiety.  It is especially difficult to leave in the morning when he is in a playful mood.  I muster every ounce of willpower to go to work when this happens.  We just try to go back home as early as we can so we can have quality bonding moments with the little one.  On weekends, we are either full of kids’ activities or just home, catching up with each other.

Yes, it feels like we’re back at square one with the addition of Baby J to the family.  A lot of adjustments are made and in some ways, we are still finding our way around.  It feels like one big adventure and it’s one that we’re happy to embark on together as a family 😊.  We’d be delighted too if you’d keep us company! 😊

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My 2015 in Review

I know. I have been away too long, I know!  It has been crazy for the past weeks…errr…months for me.  But I am here now and I thought that there is no better way to get back on track than to look back at the year that was.

Our 2015 did not start quite as well as I hoped it would.  We were beset with illnesses and loss of dear ones.  We were in grief and sadness with Lolo Manny’s passing and still miss him a lot; but we have come to terms that he is already in a better place.

February was a happier month as we saw family and friends who visited from the States.  This month was filled with a lot of get-togethers and reunions.

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We got the biggest surprise of our lives as March rolled in and found out that I was infanticipating!  The initial shock that got to me was soon replaced by eagerness and excitement for our newest blessing 😊.

We also celebrated a milestone this month as F graduated from grade school, with an award for perfect attendance to boot!  It was indeed a proud mommy moment for me!

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We welcomed summer with F‘s first out of town football tournament.  La Salle decided to field a DLSZ-LSGH contingent to the NOFA Cup and F was one of those chosen to play.  It was our first time in Bacolod so aside from the football, we also made sure to try the delectable food that this province has to offer.

I took my core leave in May so I can spend more bonding time with the kids but our plans were interrupted by a spotting scare.  I had to go on bedrest which meant missing out on our Laiya beach getaway with my mom and siblings 😢.  This month, I also had to deal with domestic concerns with our household staff that added stress to my already challenging state.  But it’s true what they say that character will be tested during difficult times.  Despite the challenges we experienced on the homefront, I am truly grateful that my kids responded well and showed maturity beyond their age.  I feel very fortunate and blessed to have such caring and responsible children.

By June, F & S were raring to go back to school.  We had a new set of helpers and a few changes in our routine so we had to adapt to these changes in our household.  On my end, I am also happy to go back on work mode again.

July greeted us with sad new that our trusted helper (whom we’ve already considered as family) lost her battle with cancer.  It was very difficult to accept, especially for F & S, who have grown very close to Ate Jojie.  We were truly devastated with her passing but we had no choice but to accept it and just pray for her and the family she left behind.

August flew by without me noticing it as I got busy with work demands.  But as September rolled in, I was ordered to go on medical leave by my doctor because I was experiencing premature labor.  Thankfully, I work for a company which allows working from home.  This way, I was able to continue being in touch with my team without getting out of bed.

As I reached the homestretch of my pregnancy, we were already doing weekly visits to my OB-Gyne and regularly monitoring the progress of Baby#3!

October was our most anticipated month!  We celebrated S’s 10th birthday (has it really been a decade?!) with a simple party.  She invited her classmates and gymnastics friends to an afternoon of clay art fun.  It was a small party compared to the ones she had before but it was fun and enjoyable.

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Of course, the highlight of this month… nay, YEAR…was welcoming our newest bundle of joy!  From the moment I laid eyes on him, he has filled my heart with so much happiness!  We are exhausted and somehow, still trying to adjust to our new routines, but nothing compares to the joy that we feel 😊.

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With Baby J in tow, days and nights came and went with me taking very little notice.  I stayed home most of the time taking care of our little one.  Even before giving birth, I made a promise that I will try to do better in breastfeeding J than I did F & S.  It is, by far, the hardest thing I had to do as a mother! But challenging as it was, I am happy to report that J is still 100% breastfed…3 months and counting! Yay! 😊

We celebrated F‘s 12th birthday in November.  It was also J’s first month celebration (and marked the first time I stepped in the mall again after giving birth hehe).

December marked my 40th birthday.  Prior to getting pregnant, I had every intention to hold a party with family and friends.  It was a milestone birthday, after all, and it has been quite a while since I threw a party for myself.  But with a breastfeeding baby (and so many sleepless nights since then), I opted for a quiet dinner out with my family instead.  Maybe I’ll throw that birthday bash on my 41st instead…we’ll see 😜.

As expected, I missed most of the Christmas parties and shopping this year but I truly did not mind.  I was happy to spend Christmas (and New Year) and celebrate with those who matters most.

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2015 was indeed a roller coaster of emotions.  For all the happy and sad moments, I am grateful.

This 2016 promises to be a whole new adventure, especially with F, S and Baby J and I look forward to sharing these with you too!

Cheers! 🎉🎉